Moms Talk: Babysitting 101

Editor's Note: Welcome to Lake Ridge Occoquan Patch's first Moms Talks feature. Today's topic for discussion is babysitting. The Moms Council is here from noon to 1 p.m. to answer your questions. If you couldn't be here for the live event, that's OK. Just ask a question in the comments section below and someone on the council will answer your soon.

For today, Keri Goodfriend offers her advice on babysitting:

After six months of being home-bound with our new baby girl and desperate to eat a meal or watch a movie without child in tow, I asked our single college buddy to watch our bundle of joy ... and we paid him in beer and pizza! A six pack, 10 phone calls and zero diaper changes later, we all survived the night, but you have to wonder in a situation like that, 'Was it worth it?’

If you take the beloved babysitting grandma or close family member off the table, how do parents find someone they can trust with their child's wellbeing? How do we come to terms with the fact that the dinner and a movie that once upon a time cost under $50 now cost over $100, most of which goes to the babysitter? It's a lot to deal with as a new parent.

My quest to find a babysitter began five years ago, when my husband, infant girl and I moved to Virginia for a job, without family in a five-hour driving radius. I started my search by taking walks in my neighborhood and asking other moms with strollers if they had a babysitter they could recommend. The answer would inevitably be, "Oh, my mom lives in town." ARGH! I called the Red Cross Babysitters Course instructor, high school guidance counselors and several church youth directors, seeking a magical list of trained, eager babysitters, to no avail!

While the road to “having” a babysitter was a rough one, I found a lot of resources along the way, including fellow moms, So, here’s some collective advice from some local moms who have found themselves in those awful “babysitter-less” shoes:

Join the SAHMs Network: Surround yourself with fellow stay-at-home moms, and you’re bound to get some good info on babysitters, or even find yourself a friend who is willing to trade babysitting services with you. Chicago native turned Lake Ridge resident, and mom of two, Angie Ward remembers, “moving to a new community in conjunction with having a newborn was challenging in that not only did I not know anyone, but even as I met people, I really wasn't ready to have strangers watch my child —  my first, little, newborn baby.  

When I moved here, I took the advice of a friend who is a mother, and has experience with moving to new communities: She told me to join a moms group, so that's what I did. And that really helped, not only in terms of support, but eventually in finding connections to sitters.”

The Lake Ridge Moms Club has a Babysitting Co-op, where members trade points for babysitting services. Like Angie, I was hesitant to leave my child with someone who I really did not know, so I started attending the club’s weekly playgroups and got to know the moms well enough to feel comfortable calling them for the occasional babysitting job. Go where the moms are — not just playgroups, but story times at libraries, playgrounds, and baby classes — and talk. Finding someone who can recommend a babysitter is great; finding a friend in the process is even better!

Parents Night Out: No stranger to new communities, resident Ashley Folsom has lived the past few years on both coasts with two young children. She quickly identified local childcare resources such as the Dale City Sport and Health Parents Night Out. “Ms.Yaly throws great parties for the kids almost every weekend with fun themes, crafts, face painting and goody bags.” Gold’s Gym in Lake Ridge also offers Friday Nights Out for their members from 5-8 p.m. every Friday for children of all ages for $5 per child. Our local bounce house, Kids N Motion in Woodbridge, offers a Parents Night Out every Friday night from 5:30 p.m. -  9:00 p.m., where kids ages 3-12 can bounce, play, eat pizza, and watch a movie. Who’s going to have more fun, you or the kids?

Get in with the School Crowd: Moms with kids in school have a vast array of knowledge about the on-goings for kids in our community. They know everything and everyone. It’s likely that if you talk to Jane who has a third grader, she’ll have a school friend whose older sister is a ninth grader, and presto- you have an “IN” with the high school crowd. Parents that are Cub Scout or Girl Scout leaders, volunteer with church youth program, or coach sports are excellent sources for sitter recommendations, too. They’ve seen the kids in action, so they can speak to their level of responsibility and maturity. The American Red Cross Babysitters Course is offered for ages 11 – 15, so don’t rule out the middle school sitters. They can be quite skilled with young children, especially if they are older siblings. Just be sure to manage your expectations for what your younger sitter may be able to accomplish while you’re gone. Ashley shares, “as long as the kids were fed, bathed and in pj's, I did not expect dishes off the table, toys picked up and kids to actually be asleep.  Often I got all of those things, but I didn't get frustrated if all the sitter did was...well, sit.”

Once you've found a trusted babysitter, you soon realize that the effort and financial cost of a date is SO WORTH IT for the sense of balance you feel after a well-deserved night out. And if you end up talking about your kids all night…well, that’s okay too!