Birth Stories: How One Home Birth Offered Comfort and Joy

A baby is born every 0.25 seconds, humans have been reproducing for millions of years, and yet giving birth is a topic of conversation that never gets old. Enter any toddler playgroup across America, and ask a mother about how her child was born--instantly other moms will engage in the conversation, and the whole group will compare their stories. Each story may have similarities to others, but still be amazing in its own right, and lovely to hear.

However, when one of my friends, local mom Jennifer Durham shared her birth story, my reaction was very different: shock, fascination, awe. "You mean you had her here? Where I'm sitting?"

Home birth: it's a whole different kind of birth story!

For Jennifer Durham the decision to have a home birth for her second child, Juliet, started while she was in the hospital delivering her first daughter, Kathryn. "I felt like I was being put on a conveyor belt," recalled Jennifer. She said that, while as a first-time mother, she didn't know what to expect, she knew she shouldn't feel like a number, and that's exactly how she felt she was treated. Coupled with feeling frustrated about her baby being kept in the hospital's nursery for hours, and difficulty nursing in the nurses' prescribed time frame, the story of her first-born's birth left her disappointed, and determined to do it better the next time around.

So when child number two was on the way, the discussion about having a home birth began for Jennifer and Brian Durham. "We wanted more choices, more options," said Jennifer. "I was concerned about the unexpected, something going wrong in our home, rather than going wrong at a hospital," recalled Brian.

The couple took a Bradley Method class, and Jennifer felt that the more she learned [about natural childbirth], the more confidence she gained. Brian agreed, "I have nothing but very high marks for the Bradley classes. I'd recommend them to anyone, even if home birth isn't a consideration. The classes were much more intense [being six weeks longer than the classes offered by the hospital], informative, interactive, and really prepared us for our roles during the birth."

The Bradley classes ran through many possible pregnancy and delivery complications and scenarios, making the couple feel more comfortable and in control. By watching his wife continue through a healthy pregnancy, uncomplicated by any possible risks, Brian's concerns about home birth lessened.

One of the reasons home births have such a great success rate is the self-screening process by the parents and midwives during the pregnancy. “Any sign of a potential complication, and we would have chosen to deliver at the hospital," said Brian.

The couple's Bradley instructor recommended Birthcare & Women's Health of Alexandria, Virginia, a service of certified midwives and nurses specializing in out-of-hospital births, whether in their birthing center or in a family’s home. The Durhams immediately found the center to be family-oriented, calm, relaxed and inviting.

At Birthcare, each mom-to-be has a midwife, who delivers the baby in the mother's home. The center also helped the Durhams in selecting a birth assistant, who both assists the midwife and acts as a doula, supporting the mom through the delivery.

Preparation was simple. Birthcare gave the couple a list of medical supply items to purchase and a company from which they could buy the supplies. The home birth and medical supplies were covered by the Durham’s insurance. However, it was categorized as a specialty service, and had a higher health insurance deductible, so it ended up being more expensive than their previous hospital birth, explained Brian.

The midwife required Jennifer and Brian to write a birth plan which covered details about what kind of birthing environment they would like. "The whole birthing process is focused on the mom: from lighting to music to how much she wants to be talked to, whereas at the hospital one is surrounded by lights and machines and beeping," recalled Jennifer.

From the moment the midwife and birth assistant arrived at their home it was a very personal experience, said the couple. We had far more time together without interruption, remembers Brian. "I felt very much a part of the process," he said. "There were times when Jenn was in a lot of pain, and in those moments, the midwife and birth assistant were able to provide the empathy and coaching that she needed to get through it. In that moment, I was grateful to be secondary."

In the hours that followed, the Durham's started their life as a family of four. They had a picnic dinner with their birthing team on their bed, their older daughter was introduced to her new little sister, and friends and neighbors started trickling in to meet their new addition and hear all about their experience.

This was a birth story they were happy to share. Jennifer jokingly added, "Visiting hours may have been the only advantage the hospital had over my home birth."

This is the first in a series on home births in the area.